When facing conflict with others, there are several steps to follow that will help us interact nonviolently. Rather than evaluating others in our interactions, we can be more mindful of observing what is happening around us and how those occurrences are affecting us. Judgment, criticism, blame, and punishment are aggressions that dilute the effectiveness that dilute the effectiveness of our communication.
Additionally, we must strive to be more in tune with the needs of others when considering our own needs. The Platinum Rule comes to mind when considering this step to nonviolent communication, as this will help us treat others as they would like to be treated. When considering our own desires, we must learn to make clear requests, and avoid making demands. When we are able to receive what we want through our unrelenting bribing, intimidating, and shaming, our requests have not been granted compassionately. NVC nurtures "respect, attentiveness and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart" (http://www.cnvc.org).
Parker,
ReplyDeleteMaking clear requests accompanied by respect and consideration will undoubtedly render better conflict management. The strategies you have included in your post this week were well chosen. I agree with you that listening and observing during the communication process is more effective than evaluating and judging. Maintaining objectivity is a vital skill that every communicator needs to master in order to achieve the intended goals. Equally, being mindful of the other communicator’s needs in addition to our own, helps us remain focused and more capable of managing conflicts. Thank you for your constructive summary.
Reem
Parker,
ReplyDeleteLooking at your post I agree as you mentioned the goal of communicating to see the needs of others and not our personal needs. I find this part of communication/conflict resolution difficult at times. Especially when the conflict arises within marriage relationships, I often need to take a step back and think about what I say and how I say it when my husband and I have a disagreement. Other times it’s just easier for me to ONLY “think in my head the stuff I want to say and say it in (a closet/ or a room by myself) because I know it would just be harsh and possibly hurtful to say it directly to my husband” just to get my frustration out. I believe having some frustration is a part of conflict and we are all human beings and get frustrated at times. What are your thoughts if the conflict arises in which you are communicating to see the needs of others but the other individual does not necessarily compromise to see your need? I enjoyed your post
Great post parker! I loved your examples of conflict and the information you shared I find it very effective and I am going to use it. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHi Parker,
ReplyDeleteI like how you suggest that we be more in tune with the needs of others when considering our own needs. I agree that the Platinum Rule can help us understand other people and act with empathy. That rule should continue to be in the forefront of our minds when interacting with other people. Are these concepts ones that you have always abided by or are they now going to be ones that you incorporate into your repertoire of communication strategies?