The Adjourning Stage

When working within an effective group environment, Abudi (2010) refers to the last of five stages of team development as the "adjourning" stage.  Within this stage, the project is coming to an end and team members head their separate ways.  Rather than looking at the management of tasks en route to accomplishing team goals (as was the case throughout the first four steps), this step shifts perspective to look at the team's overall well-being.
 
At the end of each of my college soccer seasons, our coach gathered the team members and their loved ones to ensure that time was taken to celebrate the successes of the season and discuss the goals of the team moving forward.  Abudi (2010) suggests that this is a crucial step in the adjourning process.  It also allowed for the members of the team to say good-bye to the seniors, as the end of the season concluded their work together.  After going through many ups and downs throughout our collegiate athletic careers, departing from this close knit group was emotional for many of us.  We had shared similarly demanding schedules of balancing college life with soccer practices and traveling to games. Our collective efforts had allowed us to feel the joys of victory and the agony of defeat together. As we adjourned, we also bid farewell to the established norms that helped develop the team culture that allowed us to be an effective unit.  Moving on from those norms and the individuals that helped make them is often difficult for effective teams (Abudi, 2010).  It certainly was for us.

When I consider what the adjourning stage will be like as we conclude our program, I feel that the most difficult component of heading our separate ways will be the loss of the camaraderie that exists amongst us. Working towards the common goal of bettering ourselves professionally to advocate for young children and their families, we share similar passion and a similar workload. Having colleagues to bounce ideas off of and gain insights from has been enormously helpful to my professional growth. While I will hope to maintain collegial relationships with those in this program, it will be difficult to depart from working so closely with a group of individuals sharing similar passion and desire to improve the quality and effectiveness of early childhood programming.  

References

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.project.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Conflict Management

When facing conflict with others, there are several steps to follow that will help us interact nonviolently. Rather than evaluating others in our interactions, we can be more mindful of observing what is happening around us and how those occurrences are affecting us. Judgment, criticism, blame, and punishment are aggressions that dilute the effectiveness that dilute the effectiveness of our communication.

Additionally, we must strive to be more in tune with the needs of others when considering our own needs. The Platinum Rule comes to mind when considering this step to nonviolent communication, as this will help us treat others as they would like to be treated. When considering our own desires, we must learn to make clear requests, and avoid making demands. When we are able to receive what we want through our unrelenting bribing, intimidating, and shaming, our requests have not been granted compassionately. NVC nurtures "respect, attentiveness and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart" (http://www.cnvc.org).

 

Who Am I as a Communicator?

This week, I continued to investigate who I am as a communicator. My listening skills, levels of communication anxiety, and levels of verbal aggressiveness were measured both by a colleague and by my girlfriend.  I also evaluated myself within these same categories. What surprised me most was after analyzing the results of each assessment, all three of us placed me into the same categories for each assessment. Overall, I feel pleased with the results and am happy to know that both my coworker and my girlfriend view me as an effective communicator. In terms of my listening skills, I was regarded as empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others which helps me build relationships. The results of the communication anxiety inventory suggest that I am comfortable communicating in most situations and feel confident in anticipating such encounters. The results of the verbal aggressiveness scale indicate that I maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others' viewpoints, and have the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position. Taking these assessments also revealed several areas in which I should seek improvement, and I will create communication goals accordingly.

After continuing to explore who I am as a communicator, I have gleaned several new insights. In order to be effective communicators, we must work to understand how our perceptions respond to diversity. When communicating with others, we must not fall into a state of mindlessness in which we passively make snap judgements about the person with whom we are communicating. When we allow our perceptions to interfere with communication skills, our uninformed instant reactions and perceptions can be detrimental to the flow of effective communication. Additionally, we must be mindful not to let biases cloud our thoughts. When bias works its way into communication, we become unable to view situations differently and often ignore the information that is being shared. This represents what O'Hair and Wiemann (2012) refer to as selective perception, and it hinders our interactions with others.

I believe that being mindful of diversity and how my personal schemas respond to differences is key to communicating effectively with others. This heightened awareness will help me be prepared to shift my initial perceptions away from any existing biases and concentrate more on the sending and receiving of messages as they are intended.

Resources

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction, New York: Bedford/St. Martin's

Rules for Effective Communication

When I consider the varying cultures represented within my group of friends, colleagues at work, colleagues at school, and my community, it becomes apparent that operating from a place of ethnocentrism or cultural myopia will hinder effective communication. When communicating with others, regardless of their background, it is imperative that we are willing to adjust our actions and behavior to accommodate the perspectives of others. This is not to lose sight of our own values and ethics, but rather to enhance our ability to communicate effectively. If we are stuck only on our perspectives, we are greatly limiting ourselves. 

When communicating with others, it is not enough to simply treat others as I want to be treated. This provides no guarantee that others prefer that same treatment. When communicating with those who may have different perspectives than we do, I feel it is important to remember to:

• Follow the Platinum Rule. When communicating with others, treat them as they themselves would like to be treated (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). This may differ from our own preferences so we must adapt and adjust accordingly.
• Work to be other-oriented, moving ourselves away from thinking that our own perspectives are the only ones that matter. When engaged in social decentering, we take into account the thoughts and perspectives of others (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).
• Practice empathetic behavior and consider the emotions others are feeling. When we experience the emotions of others as if they were our own, our perspectives shift as our orientation no longer focuses only on ourselves. 

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

Observing Communication on TV

Arrested Development is a hugely popular show with my friends and family, but I haven't jumped on the bandwagon yet. With the purpose of observing communication without words, I chose to watch the first episode of this show the first time through with the sound turned off. I paid attention to the characters and their relationships, focusing on their nonverbal communication. All signs point to Jason Bateman as the main character, as he has the most time on screen. It seems that the show is based around him and his family. He seems fairly level headed and professional, whereas his family consists of a bunch of goofballs whom he can't seem to take seriously. While the others seem to look to him for advice (their facial expressions and body gestures indicate they care what he says), he seems reluctant to embrace them. As each character is introduced, their name flashes at the bottom of the screen. Each character seems to share the same last name, indicating that these characters may be related. He has a brother who seems to be some kind of magician. Bateman looks at him as if he talking to him is causing his head to hurt. Another character, possibly a brother, gives him a big hug and Bateman responds with a half hug and pat on the back with a please let this moment be over soon facial expression. His mother seems to dress in a way indicative of wealth, however her style seems to be perceived by Bateman as all flash and no style. He makes a comment to her and winks, and this causes her to rip off an accessory. He doesn't seem to take her to seriously based on his facial expressions (raised eyes and sarcastic smirks) but there may be some kind of important information he is trying to get from her. He seems to ask her a bunch of questions, and she turns and walks away each time. She seems to be hiding something. She rolls her eyes and seems more concerned about the furry scarf wrapped she just tore off her neck. Bateman's soft spot on the show appears to be his son. His demeanor is much different around his son, Michael, Jr. They seem to smile easily at each other and Bateman's body language is more relaxed around him. Where it appears that he may be at odds with the others, he is and his son seem to be on the same page.

After watching it with the sound turned on, many of the impressions I developed from the muted version were confirmed. Bateman's character, Michael, is suspicious of many of the members of his family and longs for the day that he will no longer have to spend time around them. He generally plays nice, and wishes them no harm, but he doesn't trust or believe in them. While the muted version made it appear that the others valued what he had to say, the sound confirmed that they don't seem to take him anymore seriously than he takes them.
The family owns a company, and he prefers to act in the best interest of that company. Many of the other family members, however, seem to only be interested in it for personal gain (expensive magic tricks and furry scarves expensed to the company), and are easily irritated when he rains on their parade. They act interested in hearing what he has to say, but seem set on keeping secrets from him. This is the apparent cause of his suspicions and distaste for them.

The show opens up with Michael smiling and looking pleased. The narrator begins,    
"Why is Michael so happy? Because he's decided to never speak to these people again."

I think this exercise suggests that we must remain mindful of the messages we send both verbally and nonverbally. It's amazing to see how much we can communicate without words, however, it's also interesting to see how much our actions can diminish the meanings of our words.  

Competent Communication

As I consider the people in my life who have been excellent communicators, one of my undergraduate professors stands out to me as being exceptionally effective.  When it came to expressing messages, the information she shared was conveyed simply and clearly. Her messages were easily understood and students were able to fulfill the tasks that she assigned with success. I feel that several of the key strategies she used to communicate effectively were the use of clear and audible diction, concise sentences, logical arguments, and a fluidity to her approach of expressing messages. She demonstrated appropriate and calm body language, displaying good posture, open hands, and an easy smile. She carefully read her audience to know how her messages were being received, and made changes to her approach as needed. This represented a willingness to adapt to different situations, something I feel an effective communicator must be able to do. 
In the classroom, she created an environment in which communication was seen as a two-way street, modeling effective listening as well as speaking. She was empathetic towards the messages of others, asking clarifying questions and restating their messages to ensure she understood as she attempted to ensure she was accurately receiving the messages of others. She seemed to keep an open mind when communicating with us, valuing the diversity of opinions and preferences within the group. As I continue to grow as an early childhood professional and enhance my communication competence, I will seek to model my communication off of the skills this particular professor displayed.

  

Considerations, Reflections, and Aspirations

As we conclude this course, I am thinking about my hopes and a goals relating to working with children and families from diverse backgrounds. Because I believe that no child should be systematically marginalized simply for who they are, my goal for the field is that all children someday have access to the supports and programs that will allow them to live the best possible lives. As we eliminate oppression and marginalization, we can help all children to feel whole, rather than leaving many of them with holes.  

I want to thank all of you for your support throughout this course as we explored issues related to self-identity, diversity, and equity (or lack thereof). Much like our work, these concepts are complex, multifaceted, and can feel overwhelming. As we grow professionally, I hope we maintain collegial relationships and provide the needed supports to one another. We are a network of advocates and activists that have entered the field at a time where great work has preceded us, however, we must do more. Let's continue to work together to build equity as we strive to support children both near and far.

Thank you!

Best,
Parker  

Welcoming Families From Around the World

Any time I receive word that a new student will be in attendance in my preschool program, I know there is preparation to be done. This is especially true when the student's family has recently emigrated from a country I know very little about. For example, if a student from Burundi (a small nation in east-central Africa's Great Lakes region) were to join my class, there are certain ways I would prepare in order to be culturally responsive to the student and family.

Understanding that most schools in the United States use a curriculum that shows preference to the western white world, I am mindful that I must support my students in a culturally relevant way. Based off of suggestions from Hyland (2010), I will seek to: 

• Transform the program of study to use the child's and family's personal and cultural knowledge as part of the curriculum. Hyland (2010) shares a teacher's example of why this is important, not just for students from other countries, but also for students we currently serve: "Sometimes my Black students will have information about home remedies or stories and folktales they have heard from their grandparents. We take those stories and write them up, compare notes, see how their knowledge compares with so-called traditional knowledge. I am always amazed when my students tell me things that I don't know . . . My students know things like community politics and police brutality. I can't just feed them a steady diet of cute animal stories and happy middle-class kids. Their experiences have to be part of our curriculum too." (pp. 83)
• Work to raise critical consciousness among students through open discussion of differences.
• Engage with the family and work towards building a partnership utilizing their expertise of the child's interests, strengths, and learning styles.  
• Make the effort to learn the cultural norms and values of the people Burundi and how those norms and values translate to the family specifically. I will then use this information to enlighten my teaching practice as I work to improve the educational experiences (and outcomes) I provide this student with.
• Because culturally relevant teaching requires the teacher to learn about each student's home culture, I will observe the practices of conversation, praise, and redirection that the family uses with the child. I will then use that information to inform my interactions with that student.   

Teaching in a culturally relevant way supports the needs of my students (and their families) as we seek to build a sense of support and trust between the home and school, preserve home culture, and foster healthy social identity development. I believe each of these components is essential to building towards equity in our social and education worlds.  

References

Hyland, N. E. (2010). Social justice in early childhood classrooms: What the research tells us. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 82-87. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/ 

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

During my undergrad, a group of friends and I took a road trip from Chicago, IL to Miami, FL. We had a great time on the trip until we encountered overt prejudice on the return trip home. Of the six of us, only 2 were white. We missed our exit off of a freeway and ended up turning around and stopping for gas in a rural community in Alabama. We pulled up to the pump across from a old and weathered pickup truck. The pickup was full of white guys dressed in camouflage hunting gear. They seemed to be enjoying themselves and were laughing and socializing with the employees of the gas station. They all seemed familiar with one another and perfectly comfortable in their space. Apparently, our group's appearance was an intrusion.

It just so happened that I was driving and the other white guy in our group was sitting in the front passenger seat.  While we weren't greeted with smiles by the guys in the pickup as we pulled toward them, their stares quickly became frowns as they looked past us and saw 4 not white guys in the back of our vehicle. They turned their gaze back towards the two of us in the front of the car and started shaking their heads as if to tell us no, you're not welcome here. To make it more clear, two of them began to drag their fingers across their throats as if to suggest getting out of the car would result in our demise. The others stuck up their middle fingers at us and began yelling, "Niggers!" and "Nigger Lovers!" We pulled out of the gas station without getting gas, figuring it would be best to avoid such a confrontation.

As we pulled away from the station, however, they jumped into their pickup and proceeded to follow us closely moving from behind our car, to next to us, to getting in front of us and slamming on their brakes while trying to lure us into pulling over to the side of the road. We eventually returned to the freeway and with increased traffic, they backed off. We were left wondering what we had done to warrant such treatment? Not only was their malice directed at races other than their own, it was also directed at other white guys for simply being friends with people who looked different.

It was deeply disappointing that problems like this continue to exist in this day and age. Fortunately, I doubt that any of those 'gentleman' will be involved with policy making in the future, however, it shows that much work is needed as we strive towards building equity. For these guys to be so blinded by hatred and ignorance highlights a need for change. While it was difficult to shake off their insults, it has become apparent to me that these guys have likely had limited if any opportunity to become acquainted with diversity. While great diversity exists within the United States as a whole, there are still many areas that remain homogeneous. I feel that without exposure to diversity, people will remain uncomfortable with it. How do we get people to understand and think about multicultural education in areas where diversity is almost nonexistent?

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Considering that microaggressions are represented in everyday indignities and are often intended as compliments with no malice or ill intent (Sue, Microaggressions in Everyday Life, n. d.), I witness them often.  Having spent a great deal of time with Billie over the last 15 years, my best friend from El Salvador is often the victim of microaggressions.  Because part of his identity is that of a college educated working professional, he receives many backhanded compliments that represent microinsults and microinvalidations. 

Upon meeting new people in social settings and describing college or work experiences, I have heard people say to him, “Oh I haven’t met a lot of Mexicans like you, good for you, man!”  For of all, he is not Mexican.  That aside, this implies that as someone with brown skin and Spanish speaking ability is unlikely to have the intellectual ability to attain a college degree and find a career within the competitive job market in Chicago.  This is an example of a microinsult.  
While the intention through many of these microinsults is to compliment Billie, I have also heard people invalidate his experiential realities (Sue, Microaggressions in Everyday Life, n. d.).  Although Billie and his family had to step over dead bodies and puddles of blood as a civil war ravaged his home community in El Salvador, there are people who believe that because he has accomplished so much, life must have paved an easy path for him.  “Oh man, you’re so lucky you got to get out of there, things were so much easier for you here,” I’ve heard someone comment to him.  This implies that leaving his home country was the family’s first choice and that they were lucky to leave their home.  If any members of the family were to be asked about that sentiment, the response would indicate different feelings about the situation.  Additionally, this discounts the challenges that immigrant families face when moving to another country.  Just because he has found success does not mean that he has had an easy path.  Reflecting on these situations this week has has heightened my awareness of the damage everyday indignities can cause.  Although these microaggressions often occur with no malice or ill intent, we must be more aware of our own biases and how we let those biases affect our words and behaviors.    

References

Microaggressions in Everyday Life  [Course Media]. (n. d.) [With Sue]. Retrieved from

https://class.waldenu.edu/

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Through reaching out to close friends and family this week and asking about their perceptions of culture and diversity, I heard many of the aspects presented in this course.  Among the responses shared as definitions of diversity included the following aspects:

• Differing political ideas
• Linguistic distinctions (including grammatical structure and vocabulary)
• Variances in personal relationship choices

My friends and family agreed that when any combination of the above converge in one place or are shared within a community, diversity exists within that community or location.  

When I asked family members and friends about culture, their responses also included many of the aspects discussed in this course, namely:

• Shared beliefs and perspectives held by a particular group of people
• Shared language held by a particular group of people
• Shared lifestyle and customs between a particular group of people

My friends and family believe that these "particular groups of people" range from groups within a particular community, to those practicing a particular religion, to those from particular ethnic backgrounds.     

Additional aspects of diversity omitted from these responses according to Deaux (2001) included vocations, avocations, and stigmatized identities, however when mentioned to those I discussed diversity and culture with, they agreed that these aspects were certainly representative of diversity. Similarly, discussion of power culture and family culture were omitted, however several of my friends certainly saw the influence of the power culture on their own family culture once the topic was introduced to the conversation. 

Although we have focused primarily on culture and diversity within the scope of early childhood, my conversations with friends and family this week indicated that culture and diversity impact the lives of all of us, and continue to influences decisions throughout our lives.  As early childhood professionals, I believe this knowledge will help us be more culturally aware and welcoming of diversity.  Both of these qualities are likely to help us build stronger relationships with children and effective partnerships with families, which are both essential to effective and equitable early childhood programming (Souto-Manning, 2010).   

References

Deaux, K. (2001). Social identity. Encyclopedia of women and gender, 1–2, 1–9. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/

Souto-Manning, M. (2010). Challenges to consider, strengths to build on. Young Children, 65(2), 82-88. Retrieved from https://my.campuscruiser.com/

   

My Family Culture

A catastrophe that destroys everything I know would be absolutely devastating.  If I were fortunate enough to be among the survivors of this catastrophe, I would see new opportunities in being able to relocate to a new country willing to take on refugees, however many challenges would ensure.  Living in an entirely new culture completely different from my own would be frightening, nerve-racking, yet intellectually stimulating.
Although the situation would be shocking and distressing, I would want to make the most of it. Realizing that living in an entirely new country is much different than being a tourist and simply visiting there, it would be time to start learning about an entirely new set of norms.  That being said, I would be careful not to take anything with me that would offend or upset the people in my new home country, however, I would not want to completely forget the family culture that I would leave behind.  If I could take three items with me, they would be:

• A family photo album full of pictures and memories from my family experiences from the time of my birth to present time
• An afghan blanket my grandmother made for me when I was younger. It would serve as a memory of my family's giving spirit (and it would be responsible for keeping me warm!)
• A family cookbook full of recipes that remind me of home

I would be distraught to learn that upon arrival, I could only keep one item.  While I would be in a situation where I had lost so much already, this would be an additional shock.  Giving up any two of the three would force me to give up either physical representation of family memories, a meaningful and practical gift, or the comfort that comes along with home cooking.
As a person new to a country, I would feel the responsibility to adapt my behavior to the cultural norms of the country that has accepted me in as a refugee.  In respecting the culture of others, I am saddened to think that I would lose some of my own family culture.
This activity serves as a reminder of how many families who have origins in other countries may feel upon their move to the United States.  They may be forced into situations in which family members feel the pressure to assimilate into the power culture, and in doing so, some of their own family culture may be lost.